DIDN'T EVEN REALIZE

I've been very content living here in downtown Jackson at We Will Go. I've enjoyed getting to walk to the store, easily visit with neighbors, quickly get to most places in the city, and living in a part of the metro area that makes it super easy for friends to just drop by.  To be honest, I've not missed our farm.  I've missed our pets and a couple of other aspects now and again, but I've not been homesick at all.  I easily let go and moved forward to our new life here.

And then we visited the Thompson's farm.  Renae Thompson, who volunteers at our ministry, invited all the We Will Go folks over for a good ole Southern fish fry.

When we pulled up, Patrick commented right away on how open it was, how much space there was. I quickly commented "that's how it was on our farm". And then the nostalgia hit. For the first time since moving into the city, I began to miss our old life.

 I realized that I missed the buttercups that I'd totally forgotten about. I missed the kids getting to roam freely and the peace and quiet. I missed the kids getting to play outside without fences and gate locks.

In fact, the only gates and fences at our farm, and at this farm, were to keep the critters where they should be.  Just like at our farm.

I was charmed by the chicken coop in the barn and the wooden ladder that led up to their roost.

I was reminded of the many cookouts and parties that we hosted at our farm, get-togethers that almost always spilled out-of-doors just like the fish fry that the Thompsons hosted.

But yet, even as I felt my eyes misting up a couple of times due to the missing of old times, I looked around at the people who represented my new life, our new life.

Each of these people represent where God has us now.  Some of them are missionaries like us --- people who have left behind another place and another life to pursue the call God has placed on their lives.  Some of them are volunteers who do what we used to do ---  they still live in their old homes and do their old jobs while still coming and loving at We Will Go.  And others are folks who we just met today --- people who are visiting We Will Go as part of a short-term mission trip and are now part of the blessing God has given us called our "life at We Will Go".  And because of this new life at We Will Go, there are also the prostitutes and drug dealers and addicts and hurting single moms and homeless men and struggling grannies and little ones who we now have the privilege of loving every single day.

Jim and I are grateful for this chance to serve and learn and grow.  It is definitely challenging at times and it has meant we've given up things that were precious to us, but Jesus and His loved ones are worth it.

And at the end of the day, I must admit I was in a bit of a dilemma. Do I hope and pray that God moves us to a home out in a rural area of Swaziland where we can have lots of chickens and a big garden and plenty of elbow room or do I hope and pray for a home in the city where I will have lots of neighbors passing by daily and I can walk to the store and friends can easily come visit? I really was in a bit of a smallish, confused funk. I'd been so happy with living in our home on the corner of a busy city street. In fact, I was so happy, I was hoping for the same in Swaziland. But now I was reminded of how much I loved the country!  I suddenly missed that life! So what to pray? What to hope for?

But then I was reminded, trust God to know where we need to be. He is showing me that I can love both. I can be happy in both. I can be content in both. So instead of hoping and praying for a particular kind of life, just trust Him for two things.

Trust that firstly, He has our best at heart and the best of certain people in Swaziland that He wants us to love on and care for. So He's going to put us where the best place is for all involved.

And then secondly, I can trust that wherever that place is, if I AM trusting Him with a grateful heart, that I can and will be content and love our life whether our future life looks like the Waltons in a rural community of Swaziland or the Beverly Hillbillies in the city of Manzini.

Or who knows...maybe in His awesome creativity and provision, He'll give us a life that combines the best of both worlds.

Whatever and however, I choose to trust. I choose to be grateful. I choose joy!