Saturday, May 28, 2011


A bit ago, I went outside because my 7 year old wanted me to come see how far one of the new kittens had walked out into the yard. I went, I shared in the excitement, and talked to the three little kids a bit as they were swimming IN the canoe. Then the same 7 year old wanted to know if I would let him get out all the kittens. He's not allowed to do this unsupervised because of past too-rowdy-and-rough-and-crazy behavior with said critters. I told him that yes, I'd come out after lunch and sit on the bench and read my book so they could play with the kittens. Then he wanted to know if I'd read HIM books while I sat on the bench and was supervised playing with the kittens.


It isn't that he's asking such a huge thing. But really...isn't that our human nature? We are given something good but it isn't enough. Getting one thing leads us to wanting another and another and another thing til we've totally forgotten to be happy with the first thing.

We get a new couch and then decide we need to get new throw cushions and doesn't that end table now look shabby and what about that paint?

We are single and beg God to send us a mate and He does but then we want that mate to do this and that or change in one way or another and after a while we grow tired with that mate and either just live a life of discontent and nagging and fantasizing or we decide to upgrade to a new mate and then the whole process starts again.

See? We grown ups do it, too. We are given so much but too often, it is never,ever enough.

I've been reading Ann Voskamp's ONE THOUSAND GIFTS and it is really bringing this issue to the surface of my consciousness. I've always been a pretty joyful and positive person. When I returned from Swaziland broken hearted over the disease, death, and extreme poverty I witnessed there, I made a concerted effort to not complain. If the water ran cold in showers, I tried to be grateful that at least I had water. If the restaurant didn't get my order exactly as I requested, I tried to remember to just be glad for food to eat.

And most of the time I succeed, but often I'm not joyful in the circumstances, I'm just not complaining. But the opposite of complaining is rejoicing, not just shutting up the words of grumbling.

I want to truly be content in all circumstances. I want to count my blessings daily, not just some of the time. I want to be thankful and trust God at all times, not just when things go my way or at least don't go too badly. I want to trust Him even when I can't figure out mentally a way to that a bad situation will somehow work out in the light of eternity.

I want to trust that He can and WILL use all things for His glory and my good even when there is no way, no way, no way that I can see it.

But if I'm going to be able to trust Him and give thanks in all circumstances, even the deeply painful, heart breaking, dream shattering times, I've got to learn to be content first with the small things.

As a homeschool mom, I couldn't have expected my kid to read WAR AND PEACE and PRIDE AND PREJUDICE before they'd even conquered EXPLODE THE CODE and the BOB BOOKs.

And I can't expect myself to be content in CHRIST in really dry desert places or floods of sorrow when I can't be content in CHRIST in every day disappointments and temptations.

Because that's what those stirrings of discontentment are...they are temptations to sin. They are temptations to not embrace who He has given me now, what He has given me now, where He has me now. They are temptations to be ungrateful. They are temptations to quit before a task is done or a lesson is learned. They are temptations to unwisely use my money on self instead of on the needs of others. They are temptations to put myself and my wants above the needs of others. They are the tempation to think that I know better than God.


Discontentment is the sin of thinking that I know better than God.

Today I am thankful for...

... blueberries picked from my own bush

... a husband that will arrive home from a 9 hour drive on Friday and on Saturday morning will get up (leaving me sleeping) to take the boys to a scout event

... the announcement that Subway will soon be serving avocados on their sandwiches

... sweet friends who love me

... a young friend who wants me to rant about the wonders of Swaziland as she goes with me to inner-city Jackson for ministry

... a teenager who taught me how to Pandora

... and Ann Voskamp's book ONE THOUSAND GIFTS. Because I need to be reminded.

God truly has blessed me with gifts each and every day. Sometimes I have to force myself to look beyond the pain and the selfishness and the confusion to see them. But they are there.

And I pray that every day, God is helping me to see them, appreciate them, and that I'm letting Him help me make them be "enough".


Photos taken by my precious gifts also known as my littlest kids.

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