HOW CAN I?
Please, watch this:
Sadly, this is not an isolated case. There are untold numbers of children across Africa and across the world who are suffering just as deeply. That's why I can't quit talking about the importance of ministering to these "least of these". That's why they haunt my thoughts in the day and my dreams at night. That's why I blog about Swaziland and missions so much.
But that's not enough.
How can I continue to eat so much that I'm overweight?
How can I continue to spend money on stuff I really don't need?
How can I hold on to so much stuff I can't even fit it all in my closets and drawers?
How can live a life that's so wrapped up in me and mine?
How can I not be willing to sacficially live and give so that these helpless little children can have just the basics of life?
I can't keep living like this, thinking like this, consuming like this, buying like this.
I've got to change. I've got to be willing to die to self. But I can't do it on my own strength. My selfish flesh yearns for more food, and new clothes, and cute accessories, and, and, and! But my heart wants to have the heart of Jesus....Jesus who was willing to leave all the riches and glory of Heaven to come and live a humble life here on earth, a life of service, and then die on the cross. For me. For me. How can I give Him less than my all?
God, change my heart. Make me willing and able. Show me areas I can do without. Show me things I can sell to give my money to the poor. Show me ways I can love YOU as I serve them.
5 comments:
I'm in the grips of a moral struggle as well, although it's a little different since my family's in a state of crisis. I KNOW that I could be a better follower of Jesus and I feel like my weakness actually saddens him. But I'm not the absolute best Christian I can be, and none of the reasons are any good.
I'm probably not making any sense, but when you talked about your struggle to live life as your higher, purer self, I really related. You do know, though, that despite your weaknesses, you are a wonderful person. Right?
"the other Mair"
Amen! I waste too much, in a world of so much need!
Same here - I go through the day musing about how refreshing it would be to just sell everything I own and
use the money for my Ethiopian projects. I find myself, not judging other people nearly as much as I judge myself. I feel like your conscience and that constant nag at your soul is proof that the Holy Spirit is working on you and is a good thing. But at the same time you are faced with the day to day silly things that you feel are necessary to survive or worse (just fit in). It doesn't happen overnight, but our family has gradually paired down. I read a book that really is a comment on this consumer driven society and it will hopefully make you laugh. It's called "What would Jesus, Buy?" by the Rev. Billy. It's a little out-there but Rev. Billy has a point. I have converted to the Church of Stop Shopping.
Thank y'all for your comments. I truly appreciate them. And I'll look and see if I can find WHAT WOULD JESUS BUY through our library system.
Blessings on you all as you seek what God would have you do for His "least of these",
Elysa
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