UPS, DOWNS, REALLY DOWNS, and UPS
This week has been the hardest for me since the fire. I bottomed out emotionally on Wednesday. It isn't the fire itself or even the stuff we lost or living in confined spaces, it was the stress related to cleaning and rebuilding. I just felt so overwhelmed, not up to meeting all the demands, and alone. I cried more that evening than I've cried in a very long time. I struggled with hurt and anger and immense stress.
Folks prayed for us at church and hubby stayed home yesterday to talk to builders and help with some of the work that was needing to be done with stuff. Yesterday really helped me and then today completely banished the blues. A homeschool family and some other friends connected to our church came over and worked really hard. We are really getting a lot done and the end of the cleaning up process is in sight.
But please keep praying for us. This aspect has been 100 times more difficult than the actual fire. God had been preparing me to let go of stuff and I was so thankful that my girls weren't harmed. I wasn't prepared for how overwhelmed I'd feel during the cleaning and rebuilding season.
I know that God uses all of this for His glory and my good. I'm trying to hold onto that. I'm also reminded afresh of how good I do have it. This is just a short season in my life. I've thought a lot over the last few weeks of people living in 3rd world countries who face much worse day after day, week after week, even year after year.
I think of those sweet grannies in Swaziland who are widowed and raising 10 or 20 or more orphans on their own.
I think of those refugees in Haiti who don't have insurance and are living in tent cities.
I think of those Christians imprisoned for their faith and living isolated in prison cells.
I think, and think, and think and pray that God helps me keep it all in perspective and not slip into despair, pity, and bitterness.
God has been so good to us. And so many friends have helped in so many ways. I have to do my part and take every thought captive not giving into the lies that tell me no one cares or that I can't make it.
I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me...even praise Him in the trials and work daily on what needs to be done, not worrying about tomorrow for my Father cares for me.
And for you, too.