Well, my blogging intentions were good. For over a day now, I've mentally been writing a post and hoped to get to it tonight.
But.....yeah, here goes that "but" excuse...
I spent all morning and into the early afternoon leading volunteers here at We Will Go, then I went with Jim to help a neighbor, back to the house to start sorting bags and bags of donations, and except for a one hour break for supper and a book, I sorted clothes til nearly 11:00 at night.
I don't say this to exalt myself or stir up sympathy. This is just life. My new life anyway. Some of y'all are even busier and don't even have the luxury for a book break while supping on popcorn and Bing cherries. Others of you are where I was at one time, yeah, I had stuff to do, but I almost always had at least two or three hours of downtown at some point in the day to take a nap, watch some tv, or write long blog posts.
When it became obvious that my well-thought out blog post wasn't going to happen, I was a little bummed but I hoped I could get in bed with the family iPad and pull together pics and write my "Plan B" post quickly since it had gotten really late. That plan was thwarted when the iPad couldn't pick up an Internet signal.
So hear I am, pondering how easy it is for plans to be turned upside down and reminding myself that it isn't the end if the world.
It is so easy to get caught in the sibling traps of control and perfectionism. When something comes along and makes both of those unrealistic, we can get stressed out, turn angrily critical, just give up, or throw a pity party.
"Poor me. If only I was already living in Africa I would have plenty of time for blogging and the Internet would be so much better than this ghetto connection"
I think I forgot to mention that we can also become delusional when things don't go our way.
But God tells me to be content in all things. He reminds me that He is the only one wholly in control. He brings to mind people who have it a lot worse than I do and have had any semblance of control or an orderly life yanked from them. And He nudges me to remember Romans 8:28.
ALL THINGS work together for the food of those who love Him and are called according to His purpose, to make them like Jesus.
I love Him so that means me. He wants to use sketchy Internet and long days and it-ain't-happening blog posts for my good and His glory. He wants me to say YES to His Spirit working in my life to keep cleaning out all the nasty stuff.
Sometimes we are called to say "yes" in the midst of truly tragic or immensely trying times. Most of the time, though, He is telling us to say "yes" to Him in things we face every single day. He wants us to say "yes" when there's only one customer service rep at the counter and the line is out the door so the result is actually no customer service. He wants the same response when the kids won't smile for family portraits and the toilet overflows. He wants that affirmative attitude when the precious daughter is having a mental breakdown over math problems or the teenager dresses very inappropriately for church but it isn't noticed til she gets out of the van upon arrival.
These are all little things, but they can make our heads spin so fast, our earrings fly off at speeds that can impale nearby innocents, or not so innocents, too. Or just make us despair that things will never, ever get easier and I just need to feel really sorry for myself and self-medicate with some fair trade dark chocolate.
So that is where I stand tonight.
Actually, that is where I sit propped up against pillows on my bed.
So, I choose to spiritually suck it up and go with "Plan C".
I write a blog post on my phone about how my plans didn't work out the way I wanted them to and I was really tempted to get all stressed and resentful and stay up way too late trying to make Plan A or at least Plan B work and in the process, I remind myself of a lot if important God truths and end up okay with Plan C and thankful that God loves me even when I can so easily act and think like a brat.
Which is all too often, but thankfully because of the promise found in Romans 8:28, it isn't as often as it used to be.
And that is always God's Plan A. He lives me enough to want my life to be transformed into something beautiful. Something whole and radiant. Something loving and pure.
He wants me to be like Jesus.