Musings from Graceland

WAKING TO WAVES OF ANXIETY...WAITING ON WAVES OF GRACE

This morning I woke up and immediately started mentally ruminating about our upcoming ministry trip to Swaziland and the chicken pox situation in our home. My mind was full of stress and "what-if" thoughts. I started praying but the peace didn't come.

Time went by and I was reminded of the message in an ecard that my friend Paige sent me:

"It's not the size of the mountain, but the strength of the mountain mover."

And then:

"Behold, I am the Lord...is anything too difficult for me?" Jeremiah 32:27

Just a bit ago I got to pondering the situation again and praying about it and I started thinking about times that God said something was going to happen and then obstacles were thrown in the way. I was reminded of when the Hebrew people were told they were going to be given the Promised Land...a land flowing with milk and honey, a land of goodness and abundance. God had done so much to get them to the point of possession. He orchestrated their release from Israel and the parting of the Red Sea so they could escape Pharaoh's army. But then.

But then.

But then they heard of the giants in the land and they were sore afraid. They quite believing.

How could they quite believing a God who had already proven Himself faithful

and mighty?

How can I so easily give into fear and quit believing? I've seen God work mightily too many time in my life to be reacting this way.

I've seen with my own eyes miraculous healings...even experienced them in my own body.

I've eaten tainted food on the mission field and not fallen sick.

I've seen lives that were thoroughly messed up and bent on destruction turned into something beautiful and good.

I've seen financial provision come when it was needed so badly.

I've seen families restored and marriages healed.

I've seen people delivered from addictions.

I've seen food amounts that were inadequate feed scores and scores of hungry African teenagers with even some left over.

I've seen all the circumstances work out for me to go to Swaziland the first time even when at certain points along the journey it looked impossible.

For months now I have revelled in the joy of God's gift of this trip to Africa. I have laughed and danced and wept tears of happiness.

But now I'm like those children of God who on the brink of possessing the Promised Land heard about the giants and trembled. Yes, I'm scared and worried and not trusting....not trusting the one who has proven Himself faithful over and over again.

Oh me of little faith.

GOD IS THE MOVER OF MOUNTAINS! HE IS BIGGER AND STRONGER THAN ANY OBSTACLE!

I want to believe that to the core of my being. I want to trust in Him. I want to relax in Him. I want to dance and laugh and yes, even cry tears of happiness as I wait to see Him work.

I want to fully trust that He is my loving Father who holds back no good from me or mine. We believe that He told us to take our girls to Africa with me, now I need to trust that He will use all of this for our good...to make us more like Jesus.

I want NO GIANTS to rob me or mine of our Promised Land...and for us, that Promised Land is going forth to speak words of love and grace and freedom to those who have been taken captive by HIV/AIDS, poverty, abuse, neglect, abandonment, and sorrow. We want to love those little ones and in doing so, have our lives be further transformed. I don't want to stay in a life of comfort and self-centeredness. I want my family's life to be poured out because we passionately love Him...and as a result, passionately love the least of these.

Please pray for us. Pray for His provision. Pray for His healing and protection. Pray for us to fear not the "giants in the land".