Sunday, January 06, 2008


This morning I woke up and immediately started mentally ruminating about our upcoming ministry trip to Swaziland and the chicken pox situation in our home. My mind was full of stress and "what-if" thoughts. I started praying but the peace didn't come.

Time went by and I was reminded of the message in an ecard that my friend Paige sent me:

"It's not the size of the mountain, but the strength of the mountain mover."

And then:

"Behold, I am the anything too difficult for me?" Jeremiah 32:27

Just a bit ago I got to pondering the situation again and praying about it and I started thinking about times that God said something was going to happen and then obstacles were thrown in the way. I was reminded of when the Hebrew people were told they were going to be given the Promised Land...a land flowing with milk and honey, a land of goodness and abundance. God had done so much to get them to the point of possession. He orchestrated their release from Israel and the parting of the Red Sea so they could escape Pharaoh's army. But then.

But then.

But then they heard of the giants in the land and they were sore afraid. They quite believing.

How could they quite believing a God who had already proven Himself faithful
and mighty?

How can I so easily give into fear and quit believing? I've seen God work mightily too many time in my life to be reacting this way.

I've seen with my own eyes miraculous healings...even experienced them in my own body.

I've eaten tainted food on the mission field and not fallen sick.

I've seen lives that were thoroughly messed up and bent on destruction turned into something beautiful and good.

I've seen financial provision come when it was needed so badly.

I've seen families restored and marriages healed.

I've seen people delivered from addictions.

I've seen food amounts that were inadequate feed scores and scores of hungry African teenagers with even some left over.

I've seen all the circumstances work out for me to go to Swaziland the first time even when at certain points along the journey it looked impossible.

For months now I have revelled in the joy of God's gift of this trip to Africa. I have laughed and danced and wept tears of happiness.

But now I'm like those children of God who on the brink of possessing the Promised Land heard about the giants and trembled. Yes, I'm scared and worried and not trusting....not trusting the one who has proven Himself faithful over and over again.

Oh me of little faith.


I want to believe that to the core of my being. I want to trust in Him. I want to relax in Him. I want to dance and laugh and yes, even cry tears of happiness as I wait to see Him work.
I want to fully trust that He is my loving Father who holds back no good from me or mine. We believe that He told us to take our girls to Africa with me, now I need to trust that He will use all of this for our make us more like Jesus.

I want NO GIANTS to rob me or mine of our Promised Land...and for us, that Promised Land is going forth to speak words of love and grace and freedom to those who have been taken captive by HIV/AIDS, poverty, abuse, neglect, abandonment, and sorrow. We want to love those little ones and in doing so, have our lives be further transformed. I don't want to stay in a life of comfort and self-centeredness. I want my family's life to be poured out because we passionately love Him...and as a result, passionately love the least of these.

Please pray for us. Pray for His provision. Pray for His healing and protection. Pray for us to fear not the "giants in the land".


~Deidra~ said...

I'm so glad that you feel the freedom to share your struggles. I know that it helps me to know that I'm not the only one who struggles with doubt. I know that God is in control, but that doesn't always mean things will turn out the way I want them to. I am believing with you that you heard His voice when He called you and your girls to go...and that HE WILL MAKE A WAY. The enemy knows the difference your trip will make in the kingdom and he's just kicking up a little dust. But the Greater One knows what is going on...and is able to keep things on track.

Father, I thank you that we can be honest with You about the anxiety we feel. Lord, I ask that you wrap your loving arms around Elysa today and bring comfort to her as only You can. Bring peace and healing to this family who loves You so much...and work things out for Your glory. In Jesus' name...amen.

Elysa said...

Thank you, Deidra. I'll try to post an update later today.

Your prayers mean so much.

Emily said...

Praying here. Keep us posted.

nedra said...

Elysa, what a powerful post. Since I'm new, I'm sure I've missed many powerful posts, so I'm thankfully for the ability to click back and read.

God never forsakes the righteous. I pray all goes well on y'all's journey.

Elysa said...

Thanks for visiting Graceland and thank you SO much for your prayers.