ON TURNING SIX
Last week, my youngest son T turned 6 years old. I thought it would be interesting to let him tell you about his birthday celebration.
Alright T, tell us about your birthday party. When was it and who came?
Uh, Mom, what's the day before Friday?
It was Thursday night.
And who came?
What was the theme?
What's a theme?
You know, like Dora or Pirates or a circus party....
It was Lego's and HotWheels.
What kind of cake did you have?
Chocolate ... no, wait .... it was blueberry.
What was on it?
Lego's and Hotwheels.
What else did you have to eat at your party?
I know, but our readers don't know. So, what did you have? What did you pick out?
Well, we had cake and icecream.
Think about it. You picked it out. It's something you eat on a bun with ketchup.
Right. What else?
Uh....nothing else...uh, chips and barbeque beans. And that's all I ate. Can I stop reading? I'm pooped.
You mean stop being interviewed?
I mean I want to stop. telling. people. about. my. birthday.
Can I stop interviewing?
No, let's finish up and then you can go to bed.
What???? You said that we could play!
But you said you're pooped.
I mean not that type. The boring type.
What's the boring type?
Uhh....when you don't want to do something, I'm bored.
Well, hurry up and answer my questions and then we'll stop.
So, what did you get for your birthday?
You mean my party?
Yes, at your party.
Okay, what I got was some Legos, some chocolate, some money, some marble set, some HotWheels. That's all.
What did you do on your REAL birthday the next day?
I can't tell you.
Oh yes you can. What did you pick for breakfast?
What did you have for lunch?
What did I have? Oh yeah, tortillas!
And we went to the park before lunch and you got to play with your homeschool friends. Then what did you have for supper?
Think about it.
I forget a lot.
You had macaroni and cheese with pizza.
Did anybody call you on your birthday?
No, Mom, no one.
Who's Grandmommy? And who are you?
Grandmommy is the woman who sent you fifty bucks!
And I'm the woman who gave birth to you?
And feeds you?
Mom! Wait, I'm serious. Can't we stop? I'm bored. I'm bored of everything.
We're almost done.
Who else called you?
No one else.
Who lives in the Tennessee Mountains.
No one called me except Grandmommy. Grandmommy is the only one who cares about me.
Um, Mr. Jeff Goins called you?
Oh yeah! Thank you, Mr. Jeff.
See you next time folks! I'm leaving. I'm pooped.
Rolling my eyes here.
(T re-enters the room.)
I wanna say everything.
But you said you were through.
Well, I decided not to.
Not to what?
[Not to stop.] I want to keep on going.
So what are you going to say?
Uh.....I haven't figured that out yet. Hold on.........
Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh....
Okay, that's enough.
Ooh, ooh, ooh...
Let me count all those.
(He points to the screen and starts counting)
Let's get on with it T.
We did the basic jobs.
You mean you're telling what you did on your birthday?
Uh, yes, everything.
So you did your basic jobs.
Not me, the big kids.
No, you have basic jobs to do everyday like make your bed and brush your teeth.
I mean others.
Other people's basic jobs.
Okay, so people did basic jobs. All you're going to tell is that other people did basic jobs?
Yes. And since it was my birthday, after lunch, I didn't have to do much jobs.
Dang. You're really obsessed with this jobs thing, aren't you?
At which point T runs out of the room play screaming "AAAAAH...my mother doesn't like me!!!!!!!!!!!" Can you say over dramatic???
Yes, he's back. He keeps saying he's done. He's pooped. He doesn't want to do it anymore but he keeps...
YES, I DO!!!!!! I WANT TO DO IT!!!!!!!!
Okay, quit screaming.
I think this is enough.
T, it's enough.
I'll do some more tomorrow.
I've created a monster.